I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize