I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize