dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
