be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize