He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
