***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
