just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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