hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
