Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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