I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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