You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
