I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
