Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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