I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
