Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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