I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
