i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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