Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
