the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
