An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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