I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
