I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
