hotel room ftw
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
foreskin is a definite game changer
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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