Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
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