I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
