i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize