apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
