apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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