Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
