Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
