Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize