She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize