Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Barsexuality is the new black.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
