it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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