I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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