I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
