So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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