Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
