Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
