Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
