girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
