My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
