I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
