two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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