He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
