it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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