Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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