Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My balls are so social today.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
