i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just invented taco cereal.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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