I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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