been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
