what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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