i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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