Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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