I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
