Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I need to sanitize my soul.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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