So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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