It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Be still, my beating vagina.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
