Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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