tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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