pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
