so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
