u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Duck Duck Cougar?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
as a side note pls kill me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
