She's JV to your varsity
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
