5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
