That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
