FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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